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On Almost Quitting a Challenging Thing
Reflections from my current working life.
This past November, I asked to put down my role as an instructional coach next year. I did so for a few reasons, but my feeling at the time was that I was doing too much, and too much of what I was doing was taking my focus from the primary responsibilities of being a present parent in the lives of my young children (less young every day), and teaching students. Instructional coaching, a responsibility that occupies two of the blocks that I would otherwise be teaching along with a variety of after school meeting obligations over the course of the year, seemed like a pretty good thing to drop to return to more central concerns.
It didn’t happen. I’m still an instructional coach next year. Still teaching two fewer blocks than I would otherwise be doing. Still outside the classroom a bit more than I might otherwise prefer. This was very much my own decision. The various decision-makers who I spoke with while puzzling it through were open to at least reducing my coaching obligations for next year. I don’t know that it would have actually happened when it was all said and done, but I certainly did not feel dismissed when I broached the topic.
What shifted my thinking? It wasn’t just one thing. On some level, I recognized that there was a bit of me wanting to drop something that I’m not so great at. I don’t think I’m a bad instructional coach, but I know that I’m not as good a one as I am as a classroom teacher, or as Department Chair. Instructional coaching takes a particular skill set that I am still learning. When triaging responsibilities it was natural to think about dropping the thing that I’m the least good at, first. This would have probably been a comforting path, but it would also be a path that does not lead to developing my coaching skills. So what if I’m not as great at being an instructional coach? No one is expecting me to be, except — of course — me. And the only way to get better is to keep doing it.
The other reason why I was looking to drop something wasthe feeling that my plate is overfull. Between instructional coaching, Department Chair, my doctoral candidacy/dissertation, and serving as a Faculty Senate representative, it felt like I was doing too much. If I’ve done my job right in this piece, it…
